Imprisoned

Lessons From a Prison Visit

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty" ~Albert Einstein

Recently I somewhat reluctantly gave into a voice I had been hearing for several months. The first time I heard the voice, I thought I had misunderstood. I had heard, “Prison…go and do this work at the men’s prison.” Certainly, mind was playing its game. I watched the thought, expecting it to come and go. It was a persistent, nagging thought so I offered token acceptance to the Universe. You pave the way and I will go. I didn’t expect heaven and earth to move quite so quickly but as I learned, when something is intended, our ‘Yes’, even when given with half-hearted acquiescence, sets this physical plane into motion. Just a few days later, without a shred of effort, a door opened and the pieces began to fall into place.

As my date at the prison approached I had just a little anxiety. What would it be like? What would they be like? I was concerned about connecting with the men and a thought flashed through my mind that my life hadn’t prepared me to connect with men in prison. What did I have to say that would make any difference to them? Even as I questioned my usefulness, I knew I wouldn’t have been led here if there wasn’t a reason, so I slipped rather effortlessly into surrender.

When I walked in the door, I didn't have any anxiety, just a desire to bring something of value to the men. Originally, I was supposed to join Blaze, the gentleman who started the prison program, for my first session. A few days earlier I had found out he would not be in attendance and I was on my own. The door slammed behind me as I entered into the population and I felt a dense energy that for a moment was a bit unsettling. For that second, I wished I had company, someone who had walked this path before. The guard escorted me to the chaplain's office and after we completed a few details, the chaplain walked me down the hall to academics where I would meet with the men. He needed to chaperone the Native American drumming circle so he left me in the room and I waited for the first of the men to appear.

Blaze had told me that the men had big hearts and an amazing openness to Oneness. They were captive, with no where to go. I wondered if surrender to God is easier when you have already surrendered your life’s dream. The words flowed through me. I was merely the channel—like heaven’s radio station. The teachings encompassed both beginner and advanced material. I had never felt it come through me in quite that way. One moment I would be talking about basic concepts and in the next moment, quite advanced teaching would come through. As I engaged with the men, it seemed to be perfect for that moment.

We talked about Oneness and whether they were really a part of this Oneness. They were so honest. Yes, they had heard about Oneness. Yes, they intellectually got it. Yes, they hoped it was true, but, it was not a true knowing. With their permission I did a little energy work with each man and held my hands a few inches in front of their heart chakras and in back of the chair at heart level. After a few moments I was led to hold my hands above their Crown chakras. To a man, albeit to varying degrees, they each felt the energy. One in particular, a tall Irish man, asked if I had my hands on his head. My hands were 4 inches above his head. That observation gave us lots to talk about. If I end at my fingertips and you at the top of your head, how can you feel this energy? Is it possible that we really are One?

Blaze was right. They were so amazingly open. Their hearts were somewhat hidden, but willing…wanting. They could have been any group of men. They could have been friends, brothers, husbands, sons…sitting around the table at the holidays. Not one would have looked out of place.

Sounds like enough of a tale...but for me, only the beginning. As I drove home, I began to realize a new appreciation for freedom and in the same breath, I was also given a new appreciation for incarceration. Each thing I did for the balance of the next two days took on a beauty of appreciation and gratitude that was exceedingly deep—things as simple as opening the door to my car, my house, being able to close the door to the bathroom, being surrounded by flowers in my gardens, or my dog laying her head in my lap. As I write about this now, I feel my heart cracking open again, even more fully, yet another level of love revealed. After the visit I felt unable to get my balance, unable to integrate the time at the prison, like I was standing on the groundless, untethered to earth. I felt myself becoming each person who had ever been locked inside a prison...then each soul embroiled in war or hopelessly lost in poverty. The brightness of compassion was my saving grace. It could have been a deep hole, a desperation created by mind, as I also felt a small daemon—separateness—clinging to me, something that I hadn't felt for quite a while. That evening in meditation, in an effort to befriend it, there was awareness of the crusader within, wanting to change the world, a part of the whole that had stepped out of Now and into should, into past and future. It took several days to integrate all the energy and information but slowly, with the help of friends, a context of five levels of imprisonment took form.

As I write, two additional levels became clear.

1) Unaware of imprisonment (mental and emotional) and physically free

2) Aware of imprisonment (mental and emotional) and physically free

3) Unaware of imprisonment (mental and emotional) and incarcerated

4) Aware of imprisonment (mental and emotional) and incarcerated

5) Aware of imprisonment and consciously incarcerated, choosing to retreat to a cave or to sit under the Bodhi tree in one's commitment to find freedom

6) Free mentally, emotionally (spiritual freedom) and incarcerated

7) Free mentally, emotionally (spiritual freedom) and physically free—not imprisoned or incarcerated

Looking at the list, I know where I sit. I sit under the Bodhi tree with the Buddha. I walk beside Jesus in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. These articles are my incarceration, locked in step with the process of attaining freedom. I do not sit within a physical cave, but I clearly see the cave of mind, and shall remain dug in ‘til the last daemon is fully returned to the Whole. These words are evidence of commitment to freedom, of dedication to making the last thoughts and beliefs so transparent as to remove their ability to hide. In awe of the power of forgiveness, willing to release all I have created in my ignorance against This that pervades all, I stand naked before God with nothing but Love.

Physical freedom is merely another proving ground without spiritual freedom. It doesn’t matter where we find ourselves when we are imprisoned, when we see ourselves as separate from God. What does matter is what we do with our knowledge of imprisonment. What matters is that we begin walking towards freedom. Start walking and God’s pull will turn even the smallest steps into winged flight.

Alcohol and weight loss

When trying to lose weight, it is highly recommended that you refrain from drinking alcohol. This reasoning is based both in the fact that alcohol has a high concentration of unhealthy sugars and empty calories as well as the knowledge that alcohol generally drives you compromise your habits, which might make you eat the wrong foods if they are available.

However, if you do wish to have a night cap, it is recommended that you drink alcohol in moderation and opt for a low-sugar red wine as opposed to a carbohydrate-dense beer.

Alcohol is generally consumed in social situations, such as at a meal or party. Generally, when drinking one glass, an additional glass or two are offered. Because you are in a social situation, it can be difficult to refrain from over-indulging, at least as far as the parameters of your diet are concerned.

If you do have a weight loss partner and are in a situation involving alcohol together, you two can share the responsibility of helping each other avoid unwanted glasses. Each additional alcoholic beverage boosts the number of calories you consume per day as well as the amount of sugar running through your blood stream.

Many people feel uncomfortable rejecting a drink in a social situation. They do not want to be party poopers by reminding friends of their diet or they do not want to seem to stiff in front of others. If you find yourself in a situation where it is tough to avoid consuming a beverage, then consider ordering a diet coke on ice. A diet coke has no calories or fat grams, but will come in a nice glass that will appear to be an alcoholic beverage.

If you must consume wine, then opt for a deep red wine. Red wines are wines that are generally lower in sugar than a white wine or a beer. Red wines are made keeping the skin of the grapes on, which also makes the wine more rich in minerals than the white wine counterpart, which is made from only the core of the grape.

Also keep in minds that beverages such as beer have yeast, fat and sugar. There is a reason that frequent beer drinkers develop a beer belly – they consume vast amounts of beer but do not work it off right away.

Like fruit, it is also a good idea to consume wine when you are also eating a meal. The meal will help to regulate the spike in your blood sugar level so that your body is not shocked by the addition of new alcohol calories or sugars.

Keep in mind that while alcohol consumption might not be avoidable for you, the munchies and desire to consume high-fat and high-grease foods needs to be controlled. If you do find yourself in a situation where you have consumed too much wine, it is important for you to avoid tacking on additional calories from food. Moderation and education are the two keys to effective weight loss when it comes to wine consumption and the hunger that follows.

Understanding benefits and dangers of a student credit card

The very idea of having a credit card yourself is enough a reason for sending shivers up you spine, let alone the thought of handing one over to your new college going son or daughter! You must have heard a lot from one group stating how beneficial having a credit card might prove to you and another group discouraging you to avail a credit card and stating its evils. The world of credit cards is undoubtedly filled with several hearsays and, to be honest, several may turn true. However, you can reap only the benefits of a credit card if you are equipped with the knowledge of how a credit card can harm your finance, by checking them at the very grass root level.

This becomes even more difficult while you are trying to decide on or not to give your ward a credit card guardian, and if yes, which one should be the best suited. Whichever you take and whatever you intend to do with your credit card, make sure you keep certain very crucial aspects in mind regarding the management of your credit card, especially when it concerns a new college goer. Know and understand the various benefits and dangers of student credit cards and the ways you can use it judiciously, in order to avoid any bad credit reputation, various hassles aside.

Being a high school or a college student is not easy. Especially with the increasing pace of extra curricular activities and various fees for additional curricular support needs a lot of resource for your behalf as well as your child’s behalf. These are only obvious for any student’s growth and for the successful completion of studies. Moreover, you cannot prepare yourself beforehand for these little expenses. Here the validity of having a credit card for students is nothing less than obvious. If your daughter or son has a credit card, these last minute problems will cease to be problems altogether.

You will also receive a statement for credit card, with which you will be able to assess the expenditure of your ward and check for yourself for what and when your ward is spending money. This is only possible with plastic and not otherwise. The plastic will also help you teach your daughter or son that there is nothing called free money, and that the money they spend needs to be repaid.

There will be many a companies offering you a student credit card for your ward. Their interest rates are likely to be higher than what your credit card claims. Do not be alarmed, but be assured that the card issuer is undertaking huge risks at allowing your ward hold plastic money. Besides the issuer’s risk, it also involves you. Be very vocal and clear about explaining what the card is for to your ward. Explicate to them what they should do with the card and what not, or it will be you who will have to suffer for the previous night’s hangout, which your son or daughter had financed.

Make them learn to save money and keep the card reserve for emergency uses. Teach them to pay their bills regularly and acquaint them with how the credit industry works, all about bad credit histories and how these can harm them in the future. Judicious use of credit cards is always recommendable. Provided the same, a student credit card is no lee than a blessing in plastic form. Manage your money well and teach your son or daughter money values. Remember, education does not cease at college – it is way beyond!

Borrow money from those you know in order to start up your internet business

Borrow money for your start up from friends, relatives, or life long associates. Don’t be shy to borrow money from family and friends. Did you know that the founder of Wal-Mart, Sam Walton borrowed $20,000 from his father-in-law?

How about Fred Deluca? A friend of the family loaned Fred $1,000. He started Subway with the money. Today there are almost 22,000 Subway Restaurants Worldwide. Mega corporations and small mom and pop stores have used this method. Don’t be shy, you’ll lose out.

First impressions are key to being successful in borrowing money from those you know. Make your initial approach a pleasantly surprising experience for the intended lender. Be business-like but warm in your dealings. Above all, be yourself, the person they know.

Your Initial Approach

Write down a list of people you think are potential lenders. Go through all of your various address lists. Think of very close relatives. Then list your distant relatives. You know, the ones you call twice a year, but hardly see. Yeah, Cousin Ethel.

You’ll have better success with the following types:

1. Those that have money. The more, the better.

2. Do you have past issues with rich Uncle Harold? Don’t go there! Go where warmth and mutual respect for each other reigns supreme. Uncle Harold may treat your approach with disdain. Then he’ll talk about you to other relatives.

3. Business experience? Does your intended lender have any? This is not a requirement, but it would be good if they did. People who have been there understand what you’re going through when the pickings are lean.

4. There has to be some degree of trust between you and your intended lender. This may be last on the list but it certainly isn’t least. In order of importance, it should be at the top.

When your prospects have been whittled down to the top two or three, make the approach. Chose a mutually comfortable place. Have your plans written down. The business-minded lender will ask for that. Clearly record the amount you wish to borrow.

The closer your relationship, the more tentative your potential lender may be. Their primary concern is that the loan would hurt your relationship. Sure loosing the money is always in their thoughts. But I believe a money-damaged relationship is tops.

When you borrow money from friends you must consider a future money-damaged relationship. Take positive steps to allay their fears. Show them a solid all round business plan. Convince them that you have considerably lowered the risk of failure because your relationship with them is important to you also.

The patient and the unusual phobia

Fear, along with death, is one of the great equalizers of human existence. Everyone is afraid of something, just as everybody is eventually going to die, which puts everyone on a level footing. However, the same can't be said for someone who has to endure a phobia, fear is less of an equalizer and more of an inhibitor, taking away a person's ability to function. For some people, their phobia is perfectly reasonable and may appear to be little more than a magnified manifestation of a natural fear. Examples of this can include a phobia that is directed towards snakes, or other similarly dangerous natural occurrences and creatures. However, some people can suffer from a phobia that is utterly ridiculous, by most standards.

One of the more unusual fears out there is hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, which is the fear of long words. There is a certain degree of irony involved in having an unusually long word represent the fear of long words. As with any other phobia, the trigger causes an unnaturally strong fear response in the person. In most cases, people with this problem will actively go out of their way to avoid reading anything that might contain a long word, even if what defines a “long word” can be subjective from patient to patient. Patients with this problem tend to avoid having to read any sort of legal or medical document or anything that might contain legal or medical terms, due to the popular perception that says those types of documents contain an unusually large concentration of long Latin terms. They also tend to show a degree of discomfort upon hearing long words.

Another unusual phobia is emetophobia, the fear of vomiting. Even more unusual is nephophobia, which is the fear of clouds. There are other conditions out there that are actual phobias and are not made-up, such as hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia, the fear of the number 666. There are times when it becomes difficult to discern a legitimate and recognized phobia from something that is merely a product of pop culture and a little knowledge of Latin. Although, some experts believe that since people can and will be afraid of anything and everything, even “pop culture” phobias now might be recognized as legitimate psychological fears in the future. While they may not be considered as serious problems now, even the most unusual and obscure phobia still requires some level of treatment.

Counter-conditioning is a popular method for helping someone deal with phobias, even if it is not always as fast a process as some people would like. This process involves gradually training a person to develop a relaxation response to the trigger of the irrational fear, as opposed to, or at the same time, as a fear response. In the latter case, the irrational and unreasonable fear is balanced out by a sense of calm and harmony, which eventually reduces the crippling effects of a phobia.

Another approach that is similar to this is known as systematic desensitization. However, while counter-conditioning focuses on helping a person develop a response that counters the fear response, systematic desensitization techniques involve the slow, gradual removal of the fear response itself. Theoretically, the end result should be someone who reacts to a potential trigger in the same way a normal person does, with no exaggerated reactions or active desire to avoid encountering it.

Six important managerial skills for leadership

A mark of a good leader is to provide constant motivation to his team to maintain an excellence and quality in results. A good leader is always looking for ways to improve production and standards. Here are six skills you can develop in working to attain quality in the team.

1. Observation

This is an important aspect that often gets neglected due the demands on a leader’s time and schedule. Observation and regular visits to the work environment needs to be scheduled into the calendar. Observing employees work procedures and the work flow is foundational to implementing adjustments to improve results. To have credibility, a leader needs to be seen and be known to be up to date with what is happening in the work place.

2. Monitor Employee Performance

Employee performance needs to be monitored in mutually accepted ways. Policies and procedures need to be clear. Conferencing should be on a regular basis and not just when there is a problem. Assessments and evaluations should not be merely all formality or paperwork to be done. Individual and group conferencing should be undertaken with the expectation of on going professional development. There should be frequent encouragement and clear criteria for on going goals both for the group and individual.

3. Implementation of Professional Development Programs

A good leader evaluates weaknesses and provides training and development strategies to strengthen the weaker skills in the team.

4. Demonstrates Working Knowledge and Expertise

Good leadership comes from a place of strong knowledge and experience of the production and process leading to results. If a leader does not posses all the expertise and knowledge personally he should then hold regular consultations with experts. This is important in order to maintain an accurate and informed overall picture.

5. Good Decision Making

Good leadership is characterized by the ability to make good decisions. A leader considers all the different factors before making a decision. A clear decision creates confidence in the leadership.

6. Ability to Conduct and Evaluate Research

On going review and research is vital in order to keep on the cutting edge in business. While managing the present to ensure on going excellence in performance and product, a good leader is also able to look towards the future. Conducting and evaluating research is an important way of planning and being prepared for the future.

Excellent leadership is always pro active rather than reactive. By developing these six managerial skills a good leader is on the journey to becoming a great leader.

By Barbara White

Creating the all-american hamburger

Each year, Americans consume about 38 billion hamburgers. An enduring favorite, hamburgers are an iconic American food.

But what do Americans define as the classic American hamburger?

According to the recent survey conducted by the Caravan Opinion Research Corporation for The Johnny Rockets Group restaurant chain, Americans still prefer the classics.

Despite the advent of gourmet hamburgers, 74 percent of Americans believe the cheeseburger best embodies the classic American hamburger.

Eighty-six percent of Americans also prefer beef hamburgers over turkey or veggie patties.

When it comes to toppings, most respondents agree simplicity is key, with 40 percent choosing raw onions over grilled.

What is the secret to cooking your own classic cheeseburger?

"From my personal experience, the best way to create that mouthwatering balance of beef and cheese is to grill the meat with the cheese on top," says Mike Shumsky, Johnny Rockets chairman and chief executive officer. "A true cheeseburger connoisseur will wait until the meat is fully cooked, then add a slice of cheese and cover for 30 seconds so that the cheese melts perfectly."

Here's a recipe for the restaurant's classic cheeseburger, the Rocket Single:

Rocket Single

Hamburger bun

Special sauce (mix Thousand Island dressing, Dijon mustard and hot sauce to taste)

1 slice of cheddar cheese

1/3 lb. fresh ground beef, seasoned, hand-pressed and grilled

Fresh lettuce

Ripe tomato

Onion (sliced)

Grill the hamburger, according to preference, until its internal temperature reaches 160є F. Place cheese on top and cover for another 30 seconds. Place in a bun. Mix dressing and spread it on the bun. Layer on tomato, lettuce and onion.

How do you make a hamburger a classic? Grill the meat with the cheese on the top, says one popular hamburger chain. Cover for 30 seconds to make the cheese melt perfectly.